My Bad...

We've all faced it, those 'uh-oh', 'oops', 'why' moments, that sinking feeling in your stomach when you realize that you've messed up, that ache in your chest when you roll over the next morning wishing you could erase the night before, the shame, dread, doubt, regret.

Everybody makes mistakes. We've all made decisions that we wish we could take back. We all have regrets.

I shouldn't have bought that shirt. I should've studied harder for that test. I shouldn't have been driving so fast. I shouldn't have gone to that party. I shouldn't have talked to that boy. I shouldn't have dated that boy. I shouldn't have broken up with that boy.

The list could go on forever- things we all think we shouldn't have done or even things we all think we should have, things we wish we had done or things we wish we hadn't.

But the truth is that there is no such thing as a mistake. Each decision, no matter how big or small, shapes the course of our life, makes us who we are. What we eat, where we go, who we meet, who we leave, all of these things alter our lives in some way.

It is so true that when one door closes another door opens and typically we've sunken so deep in the regret that we don't realize it. Maybe another opportunity doesn't immediately appear from our 'mistakes,' but we've learned something all the same. Because of something we did or didn't do, we learn not to do it again, or to behave differently next time.

So maybe the very things that we regret are actually blessings in disguise. Next time you feel that horrible anxiety and regret, take a look at all the good that has come from the very thing you wish you hadn't done.


Maybe you won't go to that same bar again, maybe you met a best friend or a new love, maybe you're thankful that his next sleezy girl is just as low-down as he is, maybe you know what to do to bring those grades back up, maybe you've gotten a little stronger, maybe you know just who it is that you want to be, maybe you know just whose help you really need. As long as God is leading you, no decision is truly a mistake. He will never lead you to a mountain too high to climb.


So go ahead follow your heart. Take lots of chances, take lots of risks, and never leave a door unopened or a stone unturned.

Two Years Later...

"You know the great thing, though, is that change can be so constant you don't even feel the difference until there is one. It can be so slow that you don't even notice that your life is better or worse, until it is. Or it can just blow you away; make you something different in an instant."


- Life as a House

One of the greatest things about coming home from college is the comfort and familiarity of home sweet home. It is the memories that flood every single road, store, restaurant, random field, or broken old swing by the lake. But along with the familiarity comes the realization that none of us are who we used to be. 

From the day we are all born we begin to change. We don't realize it because these changes are just part of growing up. But once we go off to college and come back to reunite with all of our old friends, we begin to notice these small differences. We look back upon relationships that have ended. The high school sweethearts that we were so sure were soulmates no longer speak to each other. The most talented athletes haven't touched a ball since we graduated. The smartest kids are failing class and barely getting by. The innocent ones are into some of the worst things. Everyone is different.

Some change for the better and some change for the worse, but everyone has changed. It's not that things have changed. It's that people have changed, in turn making things different. The hardest part is not looking upon these changes and becoming sad. I've had to learn to look at these changes as part of the inevitable, appreciate the memories, and to just let go. There's no going back, so we have to keep moving forward, accepting the very changes that we never saw coming.

"We have to keep reinventing ourselves almost every minute because the world can change in an instant, and there's no time for looking back. Sometimes the changes are forced on us, sometimes they happen by accident, and we make the most of them. We have to constantly come up with new ways to fix ourselves. So we change, we adapt, we create new versions of ourselves. We just need to be sure that this one is an improvement over the last."

—Grey’s Anatomy

"Nothing stays the same. You grow up, make friends, lose friends, go to college, lose track of people, meet new ones, and sometimes you ask yourself why. But all I can tell you is that every single experience you go through like this changed you in some way. Every new person who comes into your life changes you. Every moral dilemma or emotional experience you come up against changes you. It's your job to decide how. That's how character is developed."

She don't hold on to nothin' new for very long...

"There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else." -Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself To Live

And the winner is.....

"Blending a linebacker's body with a tailback's speed and quickness, the 6-foot-6, 250-pounder from Georgia has guided Auburn to a perfect season. His numbers are off the charts: an SEC-best 1,409 yards rushing with 21 touchdowns, and 2,589 yards passing and 28 TD passes. He's the first SEC player to run for at least 1,000 yards and pass for at least 2,000 in the same season.

Early in the season, Auburn shredded defenses with Newton on the ground. Working out of offensive coordinator Gus Malzahn's spread attack, he ran for at least 176 yards in four straight SEC games. Not even Bo Jackson, the last Auburn player to win the Heisman, did that.

As the season wore on and opponents focused on stopping Newton from running wild, he started beating them with his arm. Newton threw 15 touchdown passes and only one interception in the final five games, saving maybe his best performance for last. In a 56-17 victory over South Carolina in the SEC title game, Newton passed for 335 yards and four touchdowns and ran for 73 yards and two scores.

By mid-October, Newton was the clear Heisman front-runner and, ultimately, not even the scandal could slow his Heisman run."

As if his stats and raw talent aren't enough, Cam's shining personality and sheer, unwavering determination speak volumes. If there was an obstacle that could possibly be put in his path, it was, and Cam overcame curveball after curveball that was thrown his way. He is the epitome of a legendary player, as well as an amazing person, and is undeniably the most deserving of the Heisman candidates. I'm so thankful to be a part of the Auburn athletic department and the Auburn family, and I could not be more proud of our THIRD Heisman trophy winner. War Damn Eagle, War Damn Cam, and War Damn Landslide Victory!

"Newton will become the ninth Heisman winner in the last 11 years to play in the BCS National Championship Game. The previous eight have been 2-6. For a guy who overcame legal and academic problems at Florida, who arrived at Auburn with one season of starting experience at a junior college, who went from all of that to win the best-known individual honor in American sports, those odds don't seem long at all."

Freedom

For the past month or so, my life has been completely consumed with football and schoolwork. Although the football isn't over yet...we still have a national championship to play in...fall semester finally is. I managed to get out alive with 2 A's and 2 B's...my first B ever. Shockingly, there were no tears or drama...just excitement. I couldn't be happier that I managed to get out of genetics and chem 2 with B's. On a sad note, I had to give up my ticket to Glendale today. I just can't miss the school that Auburn refuses to cancel. My teachers don't seem to want to help me out either. But A202 is already planning a big shindig for the big game, and I'll be cheering louder than ever. Here's what I've been up to lately...

Halloween

Julia's Birthday

Tigerettes

28-27...Iron Bowl :)

Tacky Christmas Social

SEC CHAMPIONS!!!

I'm Backkk

I know, I know, it has been FOREVER since I've blogged. I have had zero inspiration or time lately, but I guess it's finally time to get back to it. School has been a massive headache lately. I'm emotionally preparing myself for my first grade other than an A. I can't say my first B because I'll be lucky if that's how high it is. Genetics is kicking my butt. Our teacher feels like he should make all of our tests the Monday after a huge football weekend. My other classes are going all right, but genetics has really been pushing me. I'm finally learning that I can't always be perfect, and that it's okay.

Football season is in full swing. Auburn is ranked number 4 in the BCS poll. WAR EAGLE!!! Everyone is falling in love with Cam Newton, and we Auburn fans are on top of the world. Tigerettes has been keeping me super busy, but I'm loving every minute of it. Being a part of such a HUGE season is an amazing experience. Last weekend was parent's weekend, so my family got to come and see the locker room and walk out on the field. Needless to say, Mom and Gary were in heaven.

To top off my busy weekend last weekend, Friday was ZTA Fall Formal. It was at the Atlanta Zoo, and we had a blast!!! I love all of my sisters so much, and our dates were all amazing. I couldn't have asked for a better night.

I believe in Auburn

I believe that this is a practical world and that I can count only on what I earn. Therefore, I believe in work, hard work. 

I believe in education, which gives me the knowledge to work wisely and trains my mind and my hands to work skillfully. 

I believe in honesty and truthfulness, without which I cannot win the respect and confidence of my fellow men. 

I believe in a sound mind, in a sound body and a spirit that is not afraid, and in clean sports that develop these qualities. 

I believe in obedience to law because it protects the rights of all. 

I believe in the human touch, which cultivates sympathy with my fellow men and mutual helpfulness and brings happiness for all. 

I believe in my Country, because it is a land of freedom and because it is my own home, and that I can best serve that country by "doing justly, loving mercy, and walking humbly with my God." 

And because Auburn men and women believe in these things, 

I believe in Auburn and love it. 

-George Petrie (1945)

Monday, Monday

So I've had the biggest case of writers' block these past couple days, so I'll just catch you up on my weekend.


Friday, I rode home with Kendall to go watch my sister at the football game. I got to go to Stevarino's with my parents before the game to eat Beach Bread...my faveee. I miss working there. Never thought I'd say that, but it was so nice to see all of the familiar faces again! The danceline did awesome! I loved watching my little sis. She makes me so so proud, and this was probably one of the only opportunities I'll get to see her, so I took it. I can't believe she is a senior and this is her last year to dance. I hope she makes the most of it! Being at the football game made me miss all of my amazing friends from high school. I feel so old. Seems like just yesterday that we were there! Sure made me homesick to leave. I've missed home.

She is the one in the back center. Beautiful! :)

Saturday night was the Sigma Pi rave!! I rode back with my parents, who were bringing the RV to get ready for football. Caitlin, Hillary, and I got together and made shirts and hats. Lauren and Courtney went with us to the rave, and I'm pretty sure I had much more fun taking pictures and hanging out before than when we actually got there. 

Sunday, I got NOTHING accomplished. I spent the day at my parent's RV with them. I loved being with them. It's so hard not seeing them every day! I spent the rest of my afternoon by myself mainly since the roomies were all out of town. It was a lonely day, but luckily all of my sweet roommates came back and made it all better. :) Things have kinda been a rollercoaster lately, but "this too shall pass."

One Day You Will

"Down the road the sun is shinin', in every cloud there's a silver linin', just keep holdin' on."

Butterflies

"Why settle when it comes to love
You can’t make more than what’s barely enough
And why did I cheat myself
By lyin’ to my heart that there’s no one else
I guess it was still learnin’ its okay to want the best
To hold out for perfection and dang the rest." 

It's so true that "you get what you settle for." So many times we fall into this idea that we have to have something now, so we settle with whatever we can find. BE PATIENT. Good things really do come to those who wait. It's okay to wait around for the best in whatever aspect of your life you may be considering...not just boysss. You deserve the best, so why waste time with something less? Give yourself the credit you deserve and hold out for the things that truly make you happy. God has a plan for you. It amazes me that He has already mapped out each and every aspect of my life, but so often I find myself trying to jump ahead. God cannot lead me if I'm not willing to follow. So today I've reminded myself that it is He who is in charge, and that it is so important to just let things happen how He has planned. 

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." - Jeremiah 29:11

Word of the day: Pragmatic: An adjective used to describe something practical or easy to use.

Gigi's Cupcakes

Last night, as we're all glued to our Facebooks, as usual, Sarah Beth noticed that our local Gigi's was offering a buy one get one free promotion if we mentioned the Facebook group. My roommates and I all jumped up and headed to the car.

I came home with a White Midnight Magic (which had cream cheese icing--my fave) and a Wedding Cake.

Weighing in at 700+ calories, (you don't want to know the exact number) these things are definitely worth the extra couple miles I'll have to (never) run to burn them off. ;) Not to mention they were only $3.00 for two yesterday!! 

So I did a little researching when I came home, and I got to reading about Gigi herself.

Gigi was a small-town girl with big dreams. She started a cleaning company at 15, but dreamed about singing, eventually selling her company and moving to Nashville to chase that dream, but ending up waitressing at Red Lobster and singing a few gigs at night. At 30, Gigi finally quit waitressing, gave up singing, and expanded her cleaning business, until her brother encouraged her to open a cupcake shop. No banks wanted to give Gigi the loan, and she was still struggling with paying her own bills, but she kept pushing forward, determined to open her shop. Now, there are 18 stores in the franchise all over the South, and Gigi says that they hope to have 30-35  open by the end of May 2010. WOW! Her story is really an inspiring one to read. Throughout all of her struggles, Gigi put her faith in God and trusted that He would take care of her, and obviously He did! I assure you she has no problems with bills these days, and she is doing something she loves! The bottom part of her bio says it all perfectly...

"If I can convey just one idea to someone reading my story, it would be to believe in yourself, walk with integrity, work hard and trust in God.  And maybe your life won’t turn out exactly how you were expecting or hoping it to be; but maybe, just maybe, it will be so much better than you could have ever imagined!"

And she ends by signing off, "With God, all things are possible!"

I think we all need a little reminder of that sometimes. I love you all!

Word of the day: Officious - Someone who offers their help when it is not needed and has not even been asked for. 

Wonderful World of Words

“The more that you read, the more things you will know. The more that you learn, the more places you'll go.” -Dr. Seuss

I LOVE words. Sarah Beth's first assignment is already due in English, and I've been helping her with her essay. I've always liked to write, and I've always had some nerdy fascination with words. It's so cool to me that there is some word out there to describe every action, every thought, every feeling. I am a nerd..I know. I've never denied that obvious fact. :) But I'm going to start sharing a little bit of my bookworm nature with you, by leaving a Word of the Day each time I blog! 

Get excited about expanding your vocabulary!

Word of the day: Boondoggle - A scheme to waste time and money. (I seem to have lots of boondoggles. :))

Forgiveness

“We cannot change our past. We cannot change the fact that people act in a certain way. We cannot change the inevitable. The only thing we can do is play on the one string we have, and that is our attitude.” –Charles R. Swindoll

When someone hurts you, it is really easy to believe that you are the only person in the world that has ever been hurt this badly. Yes, you may feel like it is the end of the world. Yes, you may have to pick yourself up off the floor a couple times, and you may cry for hours at a time. You may feel like hurting this person will make you feel better, that this revenge will somehow heal your hurt and give you peace. Wrong. Nothing that you do will change the fact that something happened. You can't turn back time, and you can't erase the past..no matter how bad you want to. 

I speak from experience, since I held one of the world's biggest grudges for about a year. It took me this long to realize that I'd been expecting people to forgive me all of my life, and I'd forgiven so many other people...so why not the people that hurt me the most? It was high time I realized that everyone makes mistakes. I may have been hurting, but I wasn't the only one. So, finally, after almost a year, we buried the hatchet. :)

I couldn't be happier. There is something so fulfilling about settling old scores, about letting go of something that has caused you so much pain, about reviving old friendships. All of you who know me know all of the deeper information in the story, but I am so thankful that God gave me the courage and the strength to forgive and to regain an old friend in the process. I've known for awhile now that God was trying to tell me something. Something was missing and something needed to be fixed. Finally, I realized what He had been laying on my heart all along. He had taken extraordinary, unimaginable, incomparable measures to make sure that I am forgiven, so why wasn't I willing to forgive? It was totally worth it, and I'm really enjoying making up for lost time with an old friend.

"And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins." Mark 11:25

It Begins Again

I promise I haven't forgotten about you!! I still haven't taken 'after' pictures that I'm pleased with yet, but I promise I will post them. Be patient! This weekend wrapped up rush week. It was a crazzzyyy, long week, but it was so worth it! I grew so close to some of my sorority sisters that I haven't gotten to spend that much time with yet, and we got the best new pledge class...EVER!!! Although I'm probably not supposed to pick favorites, I had huge rush crushes on Lynden and Courtney. Both girls ended up going ZTA!!! (Thank goodness!!)

Lynden is my Berry Buddy for this week!

I am soo excited that Lynden and Courtney are Zeta's. They are two of the sweetest girls I've ever met, and I know we're gonna be great friends (and sisters). :)

With rush ending, Tigerettes duties started back up. We worked Fan Day on Sunday, and my tiger pride is already swelling up inside me again. I can't wait to see what this year holds for me in all aspects of my crazy, hectic, wonderful life. :)

Back on the Plains

I am officially moved into my new apartment! After a few minor mishaps, Julia, Kasey, and I have finally gotten moved into our new place. When we first got here, the walls were in terrible condition with rips, tears, and holes everywhere. Our realtors assured Kasey that they were only minor repairs and that it would be at least three weeks until we could have someone repaint them. After dragging the painters over, we proved to them that the walls were in awful shape, and the sweet painters arrived early the next morning!!!

Here's the beforeee...

Andddd...I'll post some after pics in a couple days. :)

As you can see, the walls looked horrendous, but after the precious painters came and took care of that for us, everything looks awesome.

So this week is rush week, and I am exhausted. It's only been two days, but, between rush practice and the first two days of ice water teas, my throat is killing me from screaming, and I'm desperate for some extra hours of sleep. We all get pretty aggravated with each other, and the days are pretty long and tiring, but it will all be worth it in the end. I love ZTA, I love my sisters, and I feel confident that all of our hard work will bring in some beautiful, amazing Zeta babies. I'm so excited, and sooo thankful for our adorable rush chair and president, who have done nothing but try to make this recruitment the best one yet.

Home is Where the Heart Is

Welllll...My car is all loaded down again. I was so sure that leaving this year would be nowhere near as hard as last year. I was wrong. I may be one of the biggest cry babies in the world, and this year, I've been just as much of a basketcase as I was last year. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to move into my new apartment and be reunited with all of my friends and sorority sisters at Auburn, but I hate having to say good-bye to everyone here. I've gotten used to my sweet Mama making my coffee every morning, and to being with my girls every night. These girls are the ones who know me better than anyone does. 

They've been there through the awkward overall-wearing years and the bench-warming years. They've been there through some of the happiest times and some of the worst times. 

This year, I've learned to embrace change and the new friendships that come with it, but I've also learned to cherish the old ones more than ever. I wish I could load them all up in a box and take them with me, but I know that's impossible. 

Sooo... even though I've done my fair share of crying, and a few more tears may be shed tomorrow, we've done it one year, and I know we'll make it through this year, too. I've got tons of new pictures, my new Build-A-Bear from my precious boyfriend, and three months of new memories ready to go back to the beautiful Plains. I can't wait for everyone to come visit me, and I'm so excited that Holley and Kendall will be joining me in just a few weeks. 

Let the countdown to football season begin!!!

My First Blog

Hey everybody! Forgive my blog, as I'm completely new to this whole thing. After months of reading other people's blogs, I decided that it was finally time to make my own. It's a work in progress, but I hope you enjoy reading it just as much as I enjoy posting. Hopefully, it will improve with time and practice. :)

I chose my title, Thriving and Surviving, from the one of my favorite Maya Angelou quotes.

Arguably one of the most influential and powerful women of all time, Maya succeeded in what she hoped to do and continues to touch so many lives. She captures my vision and my dream, not merely to survive, but to thrive, with passion, compassion, humor, and style. 

It's so important to me to live life with a passion and a purpose. I've always had some sort of goal in mind, and I'm probably one of the most determined people you'll ever meet. I've always pushed for perfection, wanting to be the best at whatever it is I do. Ultimately, I've pushed, and continue to push, for success. Through both my successes and failures, I hope to touch as many lives as humanly possible. I strive each day to be a constant improvement on myself and to be someone that people can look up to. I want to leave a mark, not just as society, but on the hearts and lives of those I come in contact with. On a lighter note, I'm so excited to blog about all sorts of random things that come to mind and to invite you into my mind and my life. Love you all! :)